Marriage is considered one of the most sacred relationships. It is seen as a bond that is meant to bring love, companionship, and happiness to your life.
Like any other relationship, however, every marriage does not result in a good or happy life. Some people may take too long to realize that while some may just overlook the signs of their unhealthy marriage just because they think that breaking up is not an option.
An unhealthy marriage can take a lot more from you than what you expect it to provide you with. It can feed on your mental peace, confidence, and capabilities if you do not take timely action to save yourself. Thus, it is very important to identify the signs of an unhealthy marriage so that timely help may be sought.
Getting help for an unhealthy marriage
If you notice any of these or other signs that do not make you feel that your marriage is working, you may seek professional help through relationship or marriage counselors. Remember that you bear more responsibility for your well-being than anything else, including your marriage or partner.
At times, people stay in a toxic marriage for the sake of children, however, a toxic relationship will do more harm to your kids than a divorce will. If you find that something about your marriage bothers you, it is better to seek counseling or professional help.
15 signs of an unhealthy marriage
- Your partner is too critical or insulting toward you. Although healthy criticism is always productive, if your partner finds faults with everything you do or say, it may be the time to reflect on their motive. Furthermore, advice with good intentions is made in privacy.
- You no longer share or enjoy intimacy. Intimacy is a crucial part of marriage. It breeds emotional and physical connection and a sense of belonging. If you and your partner are not getting intimate as much as you used to, it is not a healthy sign.
- You are preoccupied with the idea of separation. If divorce or separation is on your mind most of the time, you may need to ponder why is this happening. An unhealthy relationship may make you fantasize about divorce regardless of how difficult separation can make your life.
- You feel too controlled by your partner. If it is your partner who decides what you should wear, how you must behave, or what you should eat, it is a sign that they are trying to control you. A healthy marriage involves giving the other person enough freedom to decide for themselves.
- You no longer seem to have meaningful conversations. Every time you decide to talk, it turns into a heated argument or an ugly war of words. Communication is the backbone of any relationship and if this bridge is broken, the individuals are doomed to fall apart from the relationship.
- You feel too lonely. Even if your partner is around, you feel like you are alone. An unhealthy marriage may make you crave care and concern that you do not get from your partner anymore.
- You disregard each other’s priorities. Be it food, rest, or a vacation, you or your partner do not care for what the other person wants. You may be working a night shift, but your partner does not care if you get enough rest the following day.
- You do not trust them anymore. Trust and loyalty are what make people stay. In an unhealthy marriage, you are not each other’s confidante. Rather, you seem to hide things from each other.
- You find it difficult to respect them. Respect ensures that your relationship lasts and you value each other. If you do not respect your partner or they do not respect you, it may indicate an unhealthy and weak relationship.
- You do not feel commitment in the relationship. A successful marriage means falling in love with the same person over and again. If you do not feel the commitment toward your partner, it indicates an unhealthy marriage.
- You cringe at their company. You feel that you are better alone because everything they do or say is so intolerable to you. Cringing or disliking each other to this extent must not be overlooked.
- You feel neglected. Your partner may neglect you by not being attentive to what you say. They may care about what others in the family feel but not pay any heed to your emotions or wishes.
- The relationship is hampering your personal or professional growth. A healthy marriage is one where you help each other become better. If your marriage is holding you back or preventing you from becoming a better version of yourself, it sure is unhealthy.
- You feel that you get no space in the relationship. You may be closely bound by your relationship, but you both are still unique individuals. If you feel too suffocated by your partner’s interference, it means that your marriage is not healthy.
- You seem to “unhate” them. It is said that indifference and not “hate” is the opposite of “love.” You or your partner do not seem to be bothered by each other. You do not care what they say or do. Even the arguments seem unnecessary and any response is futile. These signs may indicate a dying relationship.
QUESTION
See AnswerUmberson D, Montez JK. Social relationships and health: a flashpoint for health policy. J Health Soc Behav. 2010;51 Suppl(Suppl):S54-S66. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3150158/
The University of Alabama. Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships. https://counseling.sa.ua.edu/resources/healthy-vs-unhealthy-relationships/
American Psychological Association. Why a bad marriage is worse for women than men. https://www.apa.org/monitor/dec01/badmarriage
PsychAlive. Toxic Relationships. https://www.psychalive.org/toxic-relationship/
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